Twilight Saga: New Moon review

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SPOILER WARNING

Not everyone gets a kick by writing a bad review for a poorly made movie which made millions at box office and drowned teenagers. So I am writing a spoiler review. So don’t read this if you haven’t watched the film. 😛 The first step of a major downhill before the critics. Twilight saga: new moon is the major reminder on how bad the sequels can get especially when you bring back the actors who hate to be part of it backed by a poorly written screenplay.

The movie has a strong beginning; first with the flawless creative logo presentation. 😛

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Followed by the scene where Bella (Kristen Stewart) is shown running in between creepily dressed crowds and a clock tower is shown; time is moving fast and she is going to stop something from happening. For about 15 seconds, I believed that it could lead to a thrilling sequence. But then, it morphs into the scene where Bella runs into a meadow and she sees Edward (Robert Pattinson) in the sun…

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Which makes one…

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Then Bella sees herself as an old woman standing next to Edward where he wishes her “Happy birthday”. Now, apart from the sparkling, that was a creative beginning and the only 5 minutes that is worth. Afterwards, we are introduced to THE twilight saga world; which has been harshly criticized and scrutinized for unbelievably bad characters, horrible acting and even worse pacing. Followed by dreadful work from the technical side, except Alexandre Desplat. Robert Pattinson finally brings THE shovel faced Edward on-screen where he looks like this throughout, no matter how he is feeling.

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… unlike his lively portrayal in twilight. The scene where he repeats a dialogue from Romeo and Juliet is more than enough to highlight it. Only his lips move and in a way, we feel as if Robert Pattinson is communicating with us through his actions, telling how bored he is with the saga.

During Bella’s birthday celebration, the bad acting is too obvious because of too many awkward moments. Alice (Ashley Green) asks Edward to pose with Bella to take a picture and Bella (or Kristen) looks uncomfortable while Edward (or Pattinson) is just looking away, poker-faced. While opening a present, she cuts her finger and Jasper (Jackson Rathbone) becomes ravenous. Edward saves her, how? By pushing Bella back and then he pushes Jasper away. Seemingly everyone else is just standing there until he gets up and launch towards Bella. I have to give plus point to Ashley Greene in this scene as the only lively presence amidst bad acting and less impressive visual effects because the way Jasper run towards Bella will only make you laugh than be terrified. Then, they all stare at an injured Bella, Carlisle (Peter Fascinelli) takes her away. This is the scene that should have been the dramatic turning point but it is cringeworthy as Edward started becoming the douche from then on. Why did he throw Bella backward to injure her further if he strong enough to counter Jasper alone that too midst many others? Edward visibly looks upset, or Pattinson tries to bring that emotion by looking constipated. While Carlisle is stitching Bella, he almost revealed why he is doing the ordinary job. That was the only moment in the movie which could give him a little bit of depth although it is soulless combined with Stewart’s awkward acting; head-shaking breath ins and awkward pauses.

Afterward, Edward leaves Bella and in that scene Pattinson delivers THE performance which is classified under category of a constipated shovel face. He leaves and she falls into depression.

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In this phase, Stewart’s until-now performance works.

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Depressed individuals are not expressive and some of the shots were impressive enough; like her screaming during her nightmares which are Stewart’s only good acting moments in this movie. Many theories saw this as a major disadvantage to Bella’s character. Bella is not a strong character but I oppose those who make fun of her depressed state. Even if it is unbelievably so, Bella loved Edward unconditionally and she went through exactly how a person would when he/she is dumped. It took her months to recover. That’s when we witness THE Bella; the stupid, reckless, selfish and manipulative. She purposefully puts her life in jeopardy so that she could see the glimpse of Edward. Initially she boards the bike of a guy who might be potential rapist. Then, with Jacob’s help, she rides a bike. That’s when we get to see overacting from Kristen when she hallucinates Edward while riding. duh… She bonds well with Jacob who is initially very cheerful and friendly. But then he breaks up as he has an obvious secret.

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That secret is not obvious as he mentions it in twilight. He is a werewolf, nope, a dog-ish wolf. Just like the vampire sparkling part, werewolves can shift any time they like and they are more like ferocious dogs.

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Then the supposed teen icon Bella, to whom millions of girls look upto, jumps off a cliff hoping that Edward would come to save her. Yes, putting one’s life at risk leaving one’s parents behind don’t matter over teaching your douche boyfriend a lesson. Edward’s a douche because of the way he treated her, making it difficult to read him than anybody else. At the end it is revealed that he left her so that she could have a normal happy life. Well, not exactly a normal happy life as he put her in depressive state. What do people who fell in depression ultimately do?

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Also initially Jasper “changed” her mind so that she will agree to a birthday party, something she clearly didn’t want. That’s a plothole as she is immune to Edward’s mind reading and Jane’s optical cruciatus curse. Even if Jasper could influence then why couldn’t he erase her memory or make her ‘not love’ Edward to spare her from the pain? Well, it is only explainable that Edward didn’t want her to forget him. Also, it is always Edward who approached her and made decisions on her behalf even if it against her will, bringing up the anti-feminist elements. Like, Jasper’s “mind influence” because of which she had to go through her birthday party which lead to the paper cutting part, which lead to Edward’s decision to dump her.

Another dumb aspect is Edward’s decision to commit suicide when he thinks that Bella died. Fans saw it as something romantic or adorable, well it is both weird and stupid. If Bella’s death is really striking then he should have killed himself the day he dumped her, that too in middle of a forest where anything could happen, from an animal attack to… this lovely vampire Victoria (Rachelle Lefevre) finding her all alone.

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Didn’t he think about that? According to the book, Edward was hunting Victoria but she comes all the way back to Forks and Alice didn’t see that? The way he tries to kill himself is even sillier and mind you this was a predictable plot as he hints it while watching Romeo and Juliet. He was exposing himself to sunlight near Volterra so that Volturi will kill him,

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… followed by an over the top sequence in Volturi where we meet Jane (Dakota Fanning) for a matter of few minutes of showdown. The Volturi look like a cult organisation that could lead to more story arc but Meyer obviously threw more light into Bella, developing her character as badly as possible. At the end of the movie, finally we see Bella making decisions about her life with Edward herself until he dropped the “M” bomb. This is moments after Jacob’s awkward encounter with them. Awkward, because of the circumstances and Bella tells Jacob that she loves but will choose Edward over him. Wow, what a slap on the face. That is THE Bella.

It is literally not possible to watch this movie with a straight face. I watched after the hue and cry from the fans who only spoke about Edward and Jacob’s sex appeal. “Team Edward” and “Team Jacob” came into the rounds around that time. The entertainment value is way below as it is disturbingly bad with lame direction, less impressive dialogues and under toned acting.Maybe the fans can see the shirtless sexy werewolves but one simply can’t ignore the bad CGI and even worse buildup. After Edward’s departure, the pacing of the movie reduces to an intolerable level. I fell asleep halfway but kept awake as I anticipated something good might happen. Afterall, it made 700 million dollars at box office with sparkly vampires and shirtless werewolves. Taylor Launtner was adorable initially but then he becomes THE Jacob with only one facial expression.

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The only person who delivered a lively performance in this movie is Ashley Greene, she was interesting and graceful. Desplat’s soundtrack “meadow” is the only redeeming aspect of the movie but even it could not save the experience as the appeal lies in the hands of the director and lead actor. Bella Swan is, unfortunately, the lead character, the one who takes women backward with her lack of depth and for having only one ambition; to be in a relationship.

Twilight saga: new moon is a poor sequel and one of the most boring films watching experiences I have had.

1/5

Featured image: hdwallpapers.in

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